And what a holiday season it is! No attempts at conversation with more successful peers at festive unions gatherings, no choking down freezer burned hor d'oeuvres at recovery meetings, no guilt about not shopping for gifts online or at the mall -- this truly is a season of blessings for the introvert, the indifferent, or the selfish.
Of course, a monolith like CBennettworld must make a display of charitable endeavours. To that end, we have delivered a wagon full of remaindered goods to a local homeless shelter, including Hai Karate (dealcoholized), Easy-Bake Ovens, and Carolyn Bennett's debut novel Please Stand By. We also have pledged 775 million dollars to send a Canadian to the moon, to scout for suitable locations for our warehouse expansion. We hope to be manufacturing something on the moon by 2025, and have signed an exclusive deal with Tim Horton's to be the official lunar coffee chain in our retail stores. We are a forward-looking conglomerate, and right now, I am looking forward at a guy leaf-blowing garbage off the sidewalk and onto the street in front of his house.
2020 started off with optimism and is ending with despair. I think it was Job, or Justin Bieber, who said "the Lord giveth and the lord taketh away." As a thought leader, I would like to offer a comforting take on that phrase -- "but the Lord giveth again, and will taketh away again, and then giveth again, and then taketh away again, and so on."
It's not the end of civilization as we know it; it's the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it. Would that be so bad? Would eliminating social, racial and economic inequality be so bad? Would cleaning our environment, inventing green technologies to power our world, and allowing for arts, culture and scientific exploration to flourish be so bad? Would being kinder to each other and cutting each other some slack be so bad?
Do we need to produce any more useless crap on this earth? No! Because we will be doing that on the moon in 2025, fingers crossed.
In the meantime, from my stent-filled heart to yours, my imaginary employees and I wish you a calm and bright Christmas, miles away from family and friends. We're all in this together.