Ministry of Government and
Consumer Services
ServiceOntario
Companies and Personal Property
Security Branch
393 University Avenue, Suite 200
Toronto Ontario
M5G 2M2
19 August 2014
RE: Business Registration
Dear Ms. Bennett:
Thank you for contacting the Ministry of Government and
Consumer Services, and for submitting your business ideas for registration.
After careful consideration, we have made the decision to
rejected your application. You may wish to review your business plans,
marketing strategies, financing, and overall concepts for your proposed
enterprises. To recap, they are:
1) Bad Ass Baby Tattoo
Company: Tattoos for the infants of ink aficionados.
2) Drive Thru Urinals:
A complement to fast food drive thru windows. Allows the driver and passenger
to relieve themselves via urinal or catheter, to save time. (You may wish to
approach the Canadian Intellectual Property Office with this, as it is more of
a patent)
3) Racoon A-Way: Do-It-Yourself
animal removal kit. (Shovel, ax, large garbage bags)
4) Rent-A-Crank: Service
provider. Acting as proxies for parents, elderly people nag and cajole
successful younger adults, to keep them honest.
5) Gee-Had Me: Lighthearted greeting
cards and novelties for Islamic extremists.
6) Old Tyme Movers: Environmentally friendly eco-movers, using horse
drawn covered wagons. Fee charged by the hour.
7) Look Up: A computer app for mobile phones. Alerts busy texters when
to raise their heads and focus on: crossing busy intersections, paying for food,
buying groceries, boarding public transit, driving vehicles, engaging in
conversation with a human being physically with them, swimming, bicycling,
hiking etc, etc.
8) Public
Pylon: 24/7 on-call service that places traffic pylons around your vehicle,
to reduce the risk of parking tickets.
9) Bad Ass Tattoo Removal Company: Hard-edged tattoo removal for the
whole family. Sterilized needles optional.
10) Be Me, Be Free: Cloning service. Send replicas of yourself to
events and occasions you rather not attend: e.g. board meetings, parent-teacher
interviews, one man/one woman shows, family reunions, church, children's dance
recitals etc..
We suggest you further investigate
and develop your proposed business ideas. Not to put too fine a point on it, but
we think you should abandon them all together.
Thank you for submitting your
business ideas. The fee for each concept will still be applied
Sincerely,
Faceless bureaucrat
