Sunday, January 09, 2011

New Year Resolutions: 1980

First of all, before I launch into my clever little list, I want to convey my heartfelt gratitude for the thoughts and prayers that have trickled in the last while. I have been overwhelmed knowing that five or maybe seven people actually read and/or stare at this blog. I thank you for your support during this trying time.

I will give you the news straight – I do not have cancer. I hope I haven’t disappointed anyone. As it turns out, I just had a nasty ol’ cyst, which apparently is quite common. If it’s any consolation, I am still in pain and will probably have more cysts soon. Rest assured I will not keep you posted.

You know it’s time to think about getting another day job when you hope you do have cancer just to get out of work.

I apologize for using this blog as a forum for my fear. Moving forward, I will just stick to my neurosis. Always move forward – that’s what the brochures and pamphlets tell us.

It’s a new year -- the year of the rabbit at that! Any year that honours Bugs Bunny is a good year in my books.

It was a new year in 1980. I found this New Year resolutions list lying around my attic and I share it with you for your edification.
New Year Resolutions: January 3, 1980

1. I will not get hammered before gym class
2. I will not go out with guys I feel sorry for.
3. I will only sniff unleaded gas.
4. I will perfect my snarl.
5. I will throw out all my old Gentle Giant albums.
6. No more triple Black Russians – ever.
7. I will learn the erhu.
8. I will pretend to listen more closely.

After that the handwriting is illegible ...
From everyone here at Bennettworld – the cleaners, security, the IT department, shipping and receiving – have a very Merry belated Christmas and a cancer-free New Year.