Twas the night
before vote time, and all through the ward
Not a drug dealer
was stirring, not even a Ford.
The putdowns and
smearing were strung out with care
In hopes the
electorate soon would be there.
The children were
tossing all angst in their beds
while visions of
Daddy loomed in their heads
And mamma in her
muumuu and Rob in Leafs cap
Had scrawled the
last promise in a long list of pap
When out from the
basement there arose a great clatter
Rob hoisted from
his chair to see what was the matter
He shuffled to
doorstep and then he did shout
"Hey Doug,
vote's tomorrow -- get the fuck out!"
The stairs creaked
and buckled as the big man came up
From smoking from
bong and drinking from cup
He rubbed his wide
face and with eyes all a glisten
He vowed he would
fight, to the people he'd listen
Rob outstretched his
hand to his very big brother
Then gave him a
hug, and one for his mother
More sluggish than
buzzards, Rob's posse they came
up from the
basement; Doug called them by name:
Now Lisi! Now
Loser!
Now Dixon! Now Bloods!
On, MamMo! On, Liti!
Before the street
floods!
To the front of
the driveway
To the wheel of
car
Now dash away,
dash away
Dash away all!
Doug was all dressed
in sweats, from his top to his feet
His clothes were
all wrinkled and stained from canned meat.
A bundle of signs
he had flung on his back
and he took a big
hammer from out of his pack
His eyes how they
drooped, his dimples how creepy!
His cheeks were
all bloated, his scars were all weepy!
His voluminous
mouth flapped with a huge breeze
and sweat poured
from brow, and onto his knees
His sibling young
Rob planted hand on Doug's shoulder
Asked, "Make
me deputy mayor, if I get older?"
Moved with compassion,
and a trifle disgust,
"Rob, badass
motherfucker, it's done!" Dougie did cuss.
Then no words were
spoken as both got to work
They joined their
ill posse, and assorted ill jerks
They planted Ford
signs on lawns tidy and neat
Any person
protesting is one that got beat.
Once finished they
sprang and to team they did yell
And away they all
flew like bats out of hell
But I heard them
exclaim. 'ere they drove out of sight,
Happy Mayoral
Election to all, and to all a good
night!
