Twas The Night Before Vote Time

Twas the night before vote time, and all through the ward

Not a drug dealer was stirring, not even a Ford.

The putdowns and smearing were strung out with care

In hopes the electorate soon would be there.

The children were tossing all angst in their beds

while visions of Daddy loomed in their heads

And mamma in her muumuu and Rob in Leafs cap

Had scrawled the last promise in a long list of pap

When out from the basement there arose a great clatter

Rob hoisted from his chair to see what was the matter

He shuffled to doorstep and then he did shout

"Hey Doug, vote's tomorrow -- get the fuck out!"

The stairs creaked and buckled as the big man came up

From smoking from bong and drinking from cup

He rubbed his wide face and with eyes all a glisten

He vowed he would fight, to the people he'd listen

Rob outstretched his hand to his very big brother

Then gave him a hug, and one for his mother

More sluggish than buzzards, Rob's posse they came

up from the basement; Doug called them by name:

Now Lisi! Now Loser!

Now Dixon! Now Bloods!

On, MamMo! On, Liti!

Before the street floods!

To the front of the driveway

To the wheel of car

Now dash away, dash away

Dash away all!

Doug was all dressed in sweats, from his top to his feet

His clothes were all wrinkled and stained from canned meat.

A bundle of signs he had flung on his back

and he took a big hammer from out of his pack

His eyes how they drooped, his dimples how creepy!

His cheeks were all bloated, his scars were all weepy!

His voluminous mouth flapped with a huge breeze

and sweat poured from brow, and onto his knees

His sibling young Rob planted hand on Doug's shoulder

Asked, "Make me deputy mayor, if I get older?"

Moved with compassion, and a trifle disgust,

"Rob, badass motherfucker, it's done!" Dougie did cuss.

Then no words were spoken as both got to work

They joined their ill posse, and assorted ill jerks

They planted Ford signs on lawns tidy and neat

Any person protesting is one that got beat.

Once finished they sprang and to team they did yell

And away they all flew like bats out of hell

But I heard them exclaim. 'ere they drove out of sight,

Happy Mayoral Election to all, and to all a  good night!